Thread:PetersCorporal/@comment-26617399-20170503142026/@comment-10907352-20170506195918

Sure, I'm always glad to be of help! The plot is divided into too many paragraphs which could be combined so that it doesn't look way too long and it's easier to read. Besides, it's not necessary to add details about the case that aren't necessary for understanding the major plot. Remember that the longer a plot is, the less interested people will be in reading (I'm not the kind to speak for myself, since I have to admit that unfortunately I often add to many plot in my case background sections). Besides, you don't need to link the characters' names to a page each time you write them, it's ok if you just link them to their pages the first time you mention them. It produces a heavy visual effect that can be tiring and annoying while reading.

The matter with the steps is that you added items such as "new crime scene" which are not steps themselves. It's ok if you just add "Investigate Crime Scene" as a step without adding a previous step of new crime scene. Also, you added a "later..." in the middle of the steps that doesn't belong there. And the last thing, you don't need to add "(Result: )" after suspect interrogations. It's ok if you do it but be careful because it makes the steps longer to read and the steps section should be something quick to read, simple, and practical. If no profile trait is discovered about the suspect and nothing new happens, you don't write "(Result: -)" next to the step. If there's no result, there's nothing to write about results. I'd recommend anyway writing the Result next to clues examinations since it helps understand in which direction the case goes after the examinations, since they're not as clear as just interrogating a suspect.

Hope it helps! You can ask me again about anything you don't understand. ;)