Buttered On/Transcript

Chapter 3
Arrest the killer...

Bruno Filipovich: Leo Capecchi, you are under arrest for Albertina Ashworth's murder!

Leo Capecchi: Yo dude, I ain't a murderer. I did hated the woman, but I wouldn't kill er bruh.

Bruno: How do you explain your antiperspirant on the rope you used to tie her hands together ?

Leo: Antiperspirant is your evidence against me ? Bruh I might be homeless but I have money for them. Eyy, I think you have wrong person. I would never kill somebody.

Bruno: And yet you did. You beated her up before snapping her neck with your bare hands. Hair from your mustache was all over a hammer she used to defend herself with.

Leo: Woah, woah, woah. Man, I would never hit a woman. I may be dirty and stuff but I'm a gentleman.

Bruno: After killing her, you hanged her from the local cathedral. Your eye drops was on her vest. Planning to confess now ?

Leo: Yo...Umm...

Bruno: Your bruise even speaks against you. She defended herself with a hammer and eventually struck you twice.

Leo (angry): Alright man, I killed er. But she had it comming. She was a psychopath !

Bruno (sad): I know that it must be hard for you since she aborted 4 of your kids, but that's not the reason for murder.

Leo: You don't know what happend AFTER that man. Albertina came up to me and wanted to rekindle our relationship. Nobody wanted to share supplies with me because our marriage ruined my reputation, so when I saw that bish brought food and water with her, so I was like ''why not'.

Leo: She prepeared a dinner for us, everything was going fine, we were talking bout our relationship, but man, the meat was weird as fuck.

Leo: When I asked er bout it, she said that sacrifices had to be made.

Leo (shocked): I was shook to the core. Bish flipped out. I asked her what was she talking bout.

Bruno (disgusted): Wh-where is this story going ? I think I already know what happend...She used human meat ?

Leo (angered): PLOT TWIST, SHE DIDN'T ABORTED OUR LAST CHILD, SHE GAVE BIRTH AND SHE COOKED IT FOR US. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. WOMAN WAS A PSYCHOPATH.

Leo: I wanted to kill er, I wanted revenge for our child. I WANTED HER DEAD. We fought but eventually I overpowered er and snapped her neck. Then I hung er from the cathedral and covered her face in butter. Insect would probably to their thing on it.

Bruno (sad): Mr Capecchi, this is surely a horrible experience...but we have no other choice than to place you under arrest.

At the courtroom...

Judge Pierre: Leo Capecchi, you stand accussed for the murder of your ex-wife, Albertina Ashworth. How do you plead ?

Leo: I'm guilty, I know man. I just wanted revenge. REVENGE IS WHAT I WANTED.

Judge (disgusted): It says here that Ashworth lied to you that she aborted your child. And she cooked it ?

Leo (mad): THAT WHORE DESERVED TO DIE. MY SON IS AVENGED.

Judge: Mr Capecchi, I know this is extremely disturbing and horrible, but you should have called the police. Ashworth clearly had mental problems that had to be dealt with.

Judge: Leo Capecchi, for the brutal murder of your ex-wife, I hereby sentence you to 5 years in prison with psychological counseling.

Leo (sad): I wanted revenge, I got it. I accept my sentence man...