Never Gets Old/Transcript

Arrest the killer
David: Father McBurns, you're under arrest for the murder of Jefferson Clinton!

John (Confused): What, I would never kill anyone or my church members!

David: Well, if you wouldn't kill anybody, why was one of your members murdered in your church?

John (Arrogant): We have atheists in this church, some did crimes or did it by accident.

David: But not many of the atheists in your church are religious. Our killer is a christian, just like you!

John (Shocked): Come on  , a religious person wouldn't hurt a fly!

David (Annoyed): Look, we know you're the killer! We found scratches on one of the dinosaur bones, which were made by your cross badge!

(John stands there, speechless)

John (Panicking): You're right, I did it. I killed Jefferson!

John: But he needed to be punished!

David (Confused): Punished? What do you mean?

John: After Jefferson got baptized, he told me that he's gay.

John (Scared): I can't believe it, Jefferson's gay and he gets baptized!

David: So?! What does that have to do with him getting punished?

John (Annoyed): Have you ever been to church?! Homosexuals don't deserve to go to heaven!

John (Panicking): I told him everything about it, but he wouldn't listen!

John (Enraged): So I grabbed a bone off of one of the dinosaurs and bashed him behind the head!

David: I have one question, how did you steal that bone in the museum if nobody saw you?

John (Palm on his face): Damn, I wish you didn't say that!

John: I got a call from someone named "The King of the Earth".

John: This guy told me to kill Jefferson and wear a cloak that makes me invisible.

John (Panicking): I tried to say no to him, but if I did, he would burn the church down!

David (Crossing his arms): So you agreed!

John: I had to, I don't want the church to be in ashes!

David (Determined): I'm sorry Father, but you're still under arrest for the bad thing you did!

At the courtroom
Judge Peterson: Father John, you killed Jefferson Clinton because one of them is gay?!

John (Confident): Yes your Honor, I did! I hate gay people when they get baptized!

Judge (Shrugs): McBurns, I am a christian and I have a son who is gay!

John (Pondering): Do you hate him?

Judge: No, my wife loves boys and girls. I get used to it.

Judge: But killing one of your members is a wrong thing to do!

Judge: I hereby sentence you to 40 years in prison for murder and working with "The King of Earth"!

John (Scared): 40 years, who's gonna be the pastor in the church now?!

After the trial
David: Another murder made by Jack... We need to stop to him!

David: Father said that Jack gave him a invisible cloak to steal the bone!

David (Determined): , I think we need to talk to Ken to see the footage and see if he's telling the truth!